This month’s exhibition will be a photographic and features my own work, a selection of shots from the annual Myrtle Beach Harley Davidson Week in South Carolina.

Question Authority

The devil is in the detail

Flying the Flag

S is for Speed

A Tale of Two Softails

Screamin Eagle 110

Red Devil

Screamin Dashboard

Yellow Devil

Full Throttle

Each picture has been reproduced as a Lite Canvas Wrap on a wooden frame. Every picture measures 31cm x 41cm with the exception of Full Throttle which measures 31cm x 20.5cm. They all come with a hook and screws!

I trust even those who aren’t bikers, petrolheads or greebos will love them all the same!

Anything Hello Kitty does we can do better!

I’m not usually one to buy any coffee other than Douwe Egberts, Kenco, Illy, Segafredo or, if I’m in Spain, as I was here, Bonka! If anything were to sway my opinion to branch out, however, I could be tempted, for no other reason than this – Jordi Labanda decorates the packaging.

The depths of my shallowness has never been in question – Neighbours has been my favourite soap since it launched, so for me to be convinced to buy something just because of the packaging makes me….well normal doesn’t it?

I’m sure the majority of people buy Apple products because they look cool not necessarily their functionality. PC lovers have argued their lack of compatibility with almost everything at some point or another but it never deters the fans.

So would I end my personally imposed ban on buying Nestle products just because Jordi decorates it?

What I loathe and detest, however, is the gratuitous endorsement of anything and everything….which is how I feel about the Hello Kitty brand.

Seriously, as a retailer I should be stocking it, it’s a global phenomenon but I just can’t bring myself to even look on their stands at shows. I am so tired of that image being everywhere. I am seriously considering starting a blog which would just be photos of anything bearing the Hello Kitty motif.

Sadly I have no inclination either towards Nissan cars….but if I did then I wouldn’t be able to resist this for the same reason.

Jordi Labanda customises a Nissan

I can’t even bring myself to show some of the photos of Hello Kitty’d up cars but here’s the link if you fancy a fluffy fest.

And so if my brain needed no other inspiration to lose weight it would be to be able to fit into this from the fabulous David and Goliath whose work I LOVE!

Goodbye Kitty Nukem

Available to buy here from them.

Orla Kiely Notebooks

Anyone with a penchant for Pintuck will also be right on target for looking ahead of the game as slogans continue to abound – especially those with a vintage feel.

An Apple a Day tea towel

Pintuck linen tea towels - MADE IN ENGLAND

And possibly more so in the latter case as anything whatsoever with a Union Jack or uber Englishness design is bang on. If you thought last year’s Kate and Wills fest was over, dream on. Anything featuring our very own Prince Rainier and Grace Kelly dreamboat Royals is still popular but more than anything Queenie is tops!

Wish I had a photo to paste but not yet – watch this space. The memorabilia relating to the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee ranges from hyper formal gold lustre edged china to caricatures on mugs and linens, in very good taste, of which I’m sure HRH would be highly approving. I avoid anything which instantly dates like the plague but have to say I fell in love many times over with what I saw. Never been a collector of Royal memorabilia but I could have started with a passion. I wanted it all.

What did surprise me was a lack of anything Olympic to any large degree…and what there was was, once again, slightly retro in feel, so I shall not be buying in potential obsolescence in that area when this beauty will do!

Mexican Olympics Flightbag

Other trends are minimalist Scandinavian design….which is just divine. The beauty of lines and simplicity is truly delightful. There were many different designers present and it would be hard to highlight just one, the choice of standard was equally high….but watch out….you could bankrupt yourself overnight.

At the other end of the design spectrum is what I’d call Asian flavour kitsch. Made in India the enameled steel and tin available is really funky. Florals, abstracts and nature based designs in bright colours on ultra light media make for mail order heaven!

Colours seem to be muted mustards, yellows and greys while Pantone have cited their colour of the year as Tangerine! Other hues are a lovely 1950′s duck egg blue yet a real true blue too, while lipstick pinks, bright greens and exotic warm oranges abound. There will be a precise science to all this, doubtless linked to the world of fashion but I’d say go for it – eclecticism is the way forward!

More as and when but for now….my feet ache!

When I had a shop many moons ago in the 90′s, it was the same….and don’t get me started on Valentine’s Day trade.

Is it because a mug is a safe bet? Everyone uses them, everyone by and large has their own designated mug at the office, at college, at home or is it simply because you can spend as much or as little as you want on one?

You can convey a hidden message to the recipient!

You can congratulate them on their achievement…..in seriousness or ironically!

You can try and impart some good taste to someone you consider otherwise clueless, whose ‘free with 5 litres of petrol’ mugs you despise!

You can share childhood memories……so sweet.

You could encourage them to save the world as much as you want to.

You can give dietary advice in a retro way.

Or maybe you just want to impart a bit of love…….

Whatever your reason, I am sure the reason I sell so many mugs at this time of year, is that there’s very little you can’t express these days with a bit of fired mud!

Prices range from under £5 to over £10, with almost every maker I stock having one to offer. We currently have over 45 mug lines, many of those offering a different variation on that theme so probably over 100 different titles.

There’s bound to be one to suit you and remember, for the best spend on your postage, and to benefit from the economy of scale so to speak – you’re wise to buy more than one!

With my event manager’s hat on I could quite easily not talk about the reason why we’re here and just bang on about the wonderfully helpful staff running the event. Whether we’re talking about the Rovers’ security force here at Blackburn Rovers’ Ewood Park, or Northcote’s own staff, I couldn’t be more complimentary.

I’ve run a few events at football grounds over the years and can say, hand on heart, Rovers trounces any of them….my only negative observation being that for a Premiership team you would think the ground would be signposted around the city…oh no, only from the M65.

Attendees watch Nigel Haworth work his magic over the course of the morning, and then eat the meal he has demonstrated over lunch.

Star struck we are, Nigel Haworth is affable, funny and welcoming, with as much time as you like to stand and have his photo taken. The fact that I managed to grab him with his phenomenal Head Chef, Lisa Allen, was the cherry on the cake.

To their credit, to make the event all the more enjoyable, as attendees leave the kitchen area, the organisers at Northcote invited them to walk through a small, intimate market place:

Womersleys – purveyors of Enthused Vinegars and Jellies. I had a tiny taste of their Orange and Mace, Blackcurrant and Rosemary and Lemon, basil and had to buy all three. Exquisite, I can’t wait to have a salad for my lunch this week!

The Bury Black Pudding Company – they need no introduction but did let slip they are considering a gluten free version!

Ashcrofts Fruit & Veg growers from Tarleton – golden beetroot which was sweet as sugar, delicious.

Reedys Naturally – scrummy, yum, nom nom nom jams and chutneys, salts and flavoured sugars from Oswaldtwistle, great company. Predictably I could not go home without that jar of gooseberry and elderflower jam.

Bling It On – jewellery from Thornton, Cleveleys, super for party evenings, girls!

Leagrams Cheeses from Chipping – Ramshackle one day old curd sheeps cheese TO DIE FOR but watch out for Bob’s knobs!

The Wright Wine Company – who have countless wines and over 1,000 scotch whiskeys

Thermomix – for fast and easy cooking

Chocolate UK based in Blackburn – watch your waistline!

It’s been fab and I’ve loved meeting not only the public (you simply don’t meet your customers when you’re online only) but meeting stall holders too.

The camaraderie, the like-mindedness of retailers and the willingness to share information has been so enriching, enjoyable and a hoot to boot that I hope I’m invited back next year.

I’ve been lucky to have Gina (@GeorginaRand) with me, from days of old, and the businesses we’ve launched in our dreamland chats would knock the socks off the Dragon’s Den – FOR SURE! Of sure the rest of the time I’ve been relentlessly rude to her – God she’s fab….I wish I could win the lottery and employ her full time!

Conversation has included the universal lack of support for small businesses. We have had a unimoan about those organisations who have tried, but in our collective opinion, failed to help us. We all feel the same way about the death of the High Street, how Blackburn, Blackpool and Preston have little to attract folk away from each other as the town centres become faceless, and lacking in any choice of one-off shop.

We’ve bemoaned rents and rates, raged against the recession and how we’d all like a shop again but will not contemplate it for fear of the aforementioned!

The customers have been super too, remarking on what a great selection of something a little different we have at newroomsonline, and ironically one that you never see in the shops…..question to self…would people therefore shop in a physical shop? Or is it just too much of an investment to consider at such an unpredictable time.

It’s been a great way to spend the weekend. I’ve loved the social interaction of it, hearing the customers comments and would dearly love to think that I’d have a shop again one day – I loved my old one…but speaking as a voice of this little group – would any of us dare to venture out there again!?

I just don’t know.

For those who don’t know, I was born in Preston and have lived here all my life save the three years I lived in Bradford as a student. I am 44 years old and I had a shop in the city centre for the best part of five years; the happiest and saddest days of my life in – equal measure – between 1991 and 1996.

We have a thriving student community and one, upon which, I feel, much of our city centre retail experience thrives….but is this dependence ever appreciated? Realised? Acknowledged?

The town centre has, for years, offered what I would describe as the standard, contemporary high street. We have many of the chains; M&S, Next, Debenhams, HMV, Waterstone’s, Evans, WHS Smith, Early Learning and let’s not forget Ann Summers. Nothing, however, that sets us apart, no reason, as I see for anyone to come here as opposed to supporting their own high street.

So for John Lewis to have conisdered us in the first place was, for me, manna from retail heaven, and, in many respects, sad, but no surprise, to hear this morning that they have pulled out.

Their chosen site, sadly, was the bus station, an area which serves as a real bone of contention for some, and a final solution for others. On the pro demolition side (for that is seemingly the only offer on the table), locals cite the bus station as a (forgive me) piss smelling dump, home to tramps, vagabonds and thieves. On the anti side, the building is such a superb example of concrete brutalism that it was recently awarded World Monument status, in a world where the Government failed to award it listed status. The anti demolition squad see the only option as saving the structure but refashioning it – renovate and recycle, what wonders might lie ahead?

It’s not a pretty building but my God is it striking? It is fabulous and if people could see beyond its current state of upkeep to a plush, refashioned functionality, in my mind, it could be the retail pull of the century. Let’s do a Liverpool One and get Q parks in to manage the car park, leaving the ground floor space open to a refurb – a funky shopping centre with maybe a Mango, a Zara, a Reiss, a Bar Burrito and hopefully a whole load of independent one-off shops.

Q’s car parks remind me of those in Spain, so sterile you could eat off the floor. You feel safe, and there’s oodles of room to park.

Safety…….my mother loves supporting the Guild Hall and the bus station car park offers her safe passage straight into the Guild Hall. At 77 years old that’s a peace of mind I love for her. It protects her independence and she loves it.

Spokespeople have stated that bringing John Lewis to the bus station site would bring new business to Preston, inferring that folk who had come from all over the Fylde, Lancaster, even beyond, would then visit our actual High Street and surrounding areas bringing much needed trade to an ailing shopping centre.

I disagree.

I think people would drive to John Lewis, shop in John Lewis and then get in their cars and drive home again, carrying their John Lewis booty with them.

John Lewis constitutes aspirational shopping. People love to say they bought something in John Lewis. To my reckoning, people don’t lend the same mental kudos to buying stuff in any other comparatively, billy common name, commonplace chain, so they can buy everything else somewhere else.

The Tithebarn Project, which includes the John Lewis-to-occupy-the-bus-station saga, could have been so different.

Now we read in this morning’s LEP that the Tithebarn Project has been parked, we need to get over it, and move on as there are other exciting prospects on the table. Really? How much money has been spent thus far on it? I’m itching to know. I know we’re in recession, I know funding from the NWDA and doubtless others was pulled almost as soon as the new Government was formed – but we all knew this was a potential, they said as much well in advance of being voted in….so there must have been a contingency?

Over ten years ago as a manager within a local marketing agency I was invited to represent our company to view the plans for the creative sector being mooted as part of the project.

Plans involved gathering a cluster of creative businesses; marketing agencies, craft makers, advertising folk, PR professionals etc to move to the same part of the city centre thus forming a hub, a hive of activity of like minded people and businesses upon which other industries might be borne…..independent cinemas, bijous cafes etc. A neat idea all pedestrianised and served by a park and ride tram system.

My observation, at the time, was a mixed emotion of excitement and jadedness. Excitement at the thought of our fabulous city being home to something like the Cornerhouse or the Cervantes Institute, surrounded by gorgeous one-off coffee shops serving delightful one-off cake-age! Jadedness because it seemed like it hadn’t been thought through.

Now it looks like the sum total of my aspirations might just be a Bar Burrito on Friargate to add to the countless others.

My issue at that time was being dependent on a park and ride tram. My place of work, a marketing agency, was a hive of activity, people came and went by the second, deliveries of print were made every hour, reps were in and out, clients came to pitches, we went to clients……relying on a tram to get you to your car would have been a nightmare. We needed 12 parking spaces right outside the front door, for our sole use, not to have to factor in an additional journey of 15 minutes when the client called and demanded our presence asap.

It was like the Tithebarn plan for this creative cluster had only been half thought through. Theoretically a great idea, and attracting those sorts of businesses would, undoubtedly, have grown the second tranche of new business….but how the hell was the first level meant to trade? Had anyone asked them how their businesses functioned?

And that’s how I feel about the bus station angle – it’s only been half thought through. And how do you build that sense of positive anticipation when you’ve not won over the hearts and minds of the immediate masses?

John Lewis say they have pulled out due to the current economy coupled with BAE job losses. Preston MP Mark Kendrick says the BAE reason is just an excuse, according to today’s Lancashire Evening Post.

But who knows?

If I can interject…when I had my shop in Preston all those years ago I could have literally shut down every time the Uni was on holiday. At Easter, in particular, I would go days without a single person walking through the door. The Uni session would restart and it was like I’d won the lottery.

I estimated that of a possible 52 weeks trading I realistically had about 30 weeks where I did what I would call proper business. And to have that shop again in the current climate is a no brainer….so I think it somewhat unfair, even if you are John Lewis, to be considered as making excuses…..I am sure the current retail climate is terrifying.

I glibly pass comment on a project that has been in the making longer than I can remember and I don’t underestimate that research has been carried out to within an inch of this project’s life but sometimes I do wonder if the managers of it have their eyes open at all. Do they visit other sites of retail success? What makes them think that this will succeed? Other retail hubs in the north are destination shopping paradises. Liverpool boasts some fabulous art galleries, great museums, a thriving theatre and music venue scene. Manchester can boast the same. People go there with other options than just the shop.

I love Preston but what else do we currently have to offer the out of town shopper, by comparison? Preston is in the crap, frankly, when it comes to retail. There’s a reason why the LEP, their commentators on twitter and the local retail force have been feeding us a daily diet appealing for us to help our local shops…because they are dying and need real support.

By all means develop the bus station site……rennovate it, do what Ben Casey mocked up so long ago – a beautiful vision that we all had in our heads, realised in his drawings….but not at the seeming expense of the city centre, Fishergate, Friargate, Cannon Street, Lune Street, Guildhall Street, all the roads around Winckley Square?

Stuff the yellow lines, remove the parking meters, introduce a one hour free parking initiative….give folk an easy passage into the city centre – trial it for 6 months….you can’t tell me it would cost you more in the loss of income from parking than the Tithebarn Project has cost you to date, or a new project might cost to consider in the wake of this failure.

Subsidise the rent and rates for those currently empty shops, for a finite length of time, as an incentive to bring new shops here, independent shops…again…would that be more expensive than what you now have to reconsider? Let’s not spend another ten years having another ten research projects on the viability of a blah blah blah initiative, let’s just get on with it. You must have a library of retail facts and figures at your disposal by this stage…and not all of them can be based on…well if John Lewis were to locate to the city then we can guestimate a rise in parking income of XYZ which will fund another discussion document on ABC…let’s just pull our fingers out and get the city centre up and running again.

Let’s park procrastination and get a wriggle on!

I rarely write about events as newroomsonline has taken centre stage on this blog but wearing my other professional hat for a second I must comment, with the highest respect about IAStivel back in September.

I’ve worked in event management for over 15 years now and dealt with the usual corporate hospitality requests but never done anything like this!

Living near enough to Cumbria, mine have, by and large, revolved around outdoorsy days driving mental quad bikes, or a spot of abseiling and shooting even racing up the Forth on a yacht (that was a great day).

So it was a real luxury to be invited along to someone else’s event as a guest. Cheshire based IAS b2b marketing invited my husband along to their weekend! Yes, not a two hour cheese and wine affair, oh no, a three day music festival in the Cheshire countryside with option to camp.

I’d only heard of one band playing – The Adventure Babies – and then only because I exchange tweets with @adventurebaby…largely about how gagtastic the idea of his weekly eggbanjo fest makes me feel!

Months previously I’d been dragged (I admit it) to a Factory Records Cover exhibition at a pub in Manchester….and seen the Adventure Babies for myself…at least, their album covers

The Manchester scene lay totally outside my immediate music awareness back in the late eighties so the xpo was a bit enlightnening. Not only was I intrigued by seeing the Adventure Babies album covers but also The Duritti Column, whose existence I had strongly questioned weeks before, but now, reluctantly had to admit, was real afterall…

(I digress….although the expo, was also, a very interesting jaunt….if groupie central – who can blame ‘em and all for a good cause – The Christie.)

Iastival was a three day music festival. You could go along for all three days, or, as we did, for the day.

To say it was superb is an understatement.

There was a main stage featuring local bands constantly performing – all good, all interesting, none of whom I’d have listened to otherwise and largely unsigned, as I understood.

There was a smaller stage in a tent for the more intimate acoustic performers….sadly we missed Tamsin Warley who I would have loved to see, but hey ho, some other time – the main stage had us glued to our seats.

There were free dodgems, an ice cream van, the best food tent in the history of events serving everything from burgers to curries to top vegetarian nom noms. There were hay bale seats and a booze tent serving a great selection and as if to complement the efforts IAS had put in – the sun shone all day.

In my mind the best corporate hospitality event I’ve ever attended, a credit to the team who put it together – I understand it was as much about training for new members of their team as it was hospitality but seriously – a hard act to follow. Anyone can bulk buy tickets for Take That, seats at Wimbledon and South African vuvuzelas but organising every aspect of the gig….that’s grafting!

And for me the most enjoyable bit – Ultimate Elton – an Elton John tribute act…or was it? So close you could touch him and with a playlist which featured all my favourites off Goodbye Yellow Brick Road and only a couple more recent numbers, I snag my heart out – high-fiving the yoof all the while. He was so convincing that at one point David did turn to me and say, “You’re not sure are you? Now wouldn’t that be ironic?” Even when the guy spoke it could have been Elton John in person…..the only question being in my mind “But was he playing that keyboard? Hmm I don’t think so”

Oh…..and as if to beat all music festivals….banks of loos, all of them clean!

(because if checking the loos at your event isn’t the first thing you do, then you need to redress your event management skills!)

Consider the corporate hospitality bar raised people!!!!

Cities focuses on four of the world’s most glamorous destinations; London, L.A., New York and Paris.

In true Jordi style, each city is represented by a glamorous woman…I can’t help but think LA bears an uncanny resemblance to Angelina Jolie!

At the other end of the scale is Swinging London….personally I’ve never been much of a fan. There’s obviously an art to being able to swan around our big smoke for more than five minutes without feeling grubby…..something which has always eluded me….so I find it amusing that Jordi has epitomised our capital thus….chic, laid back and kooky!

Over in New York – home of Sex and the City – it’s no surprise that Jordi’s chick has all the trademarks of Carrie and the girls combined.

….which leaves us with Paris and this funky Jerry Hall lookalike who looks fab in perfect stripes!

The writing equipment is available as single biros, as fountain pens or as mechanical pencils. There are also writing sets available pairing a biro and a mechanical pencil or a biro and ink pen.

They make funky gifts for women young and older…..such is Jordi’s appeal!

Some of the items bear the character on the clip and others have Jordi’s signature on the clip.

I could have bought any number of interior magazines, in fact I was quite shocked by how out of touch I’d become in such a short space of time when it comes to the genre. Having always been an Elle Decoration devotee it was a no brainer to consider any other title but shock of all shock, there was none in the shop!

So I returned to ye truste olde faithful – Ideal Home…….not least because it came in a plastic bag – so free gift central….I read the cover

Of course this then not only satisfied my need to buy a glossy on interiors but also provided me with the sort of free gift that I’m never going to turn down – stationery! Oh be still my beating heart AND worth £4.75.

It measures 12cm x 15cm and contains plain paper. It has an elastic ribbon like a travel journal so I expected an inside rear cover little pocket for bills and stuff but sadly not to be. It has a dainty, retro feel, a little bit 1950′s maybe in design, a putty colour with tiny white dots, a 1970′s aqua blue/green spine and a centrally placed shield bearing the word NOTEBOOK, just in case you were in any doubt.

I am appalled by the statement WORTH £4.75.

How?

I am inviting venom by stating this but I credit my business with selling very good quality stationery so am irked somewhat when someone is giving something away FOC as worth £4.75 when, in my humble estimation, I might give you £1.75 if I’m really pushed.

The plain paper is probably 80gsm but feels like 50 or 60. The cover is flimsy and easily scuffed. Yes it’s a beautiful colour but how does it become worth that value? I am no stranger to the old adage that something is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it.

These are A6, designed by Spain’s darling designer, Jordi Labanda, and retail from me at £3.99 each. They contain 140 leaves of paper, divided into  four sections. Each section is colour edged to help you sort your thoughts. They are spiral bound, the cover is heavy duty thick, screen printed board in full colour.

These are also by Jordi Labanda with similar content structure but the cover is thick, screen printed polypropylene and they retail at £4.25 each, also A6 size.

Agatha Ruiz de la Prada – A5, so bigger, so understandably slightly more expensive…£5.50 each but again with a polypropylene cover.

The point I’m making is not to sound like a bitter old hag but I just wonder where this seemingly notional value of £4.75 for the Ideal Home notebook came from? I’ve looked on the website detailed on the back of the notebook but can’t find anything to suggest it’s there. I’ve looked at pieces on making your home office delightful which cites notebooks in the search but to no avail.

Newroomsonline strives to source products that are design oriented but above all merit the cost.

That’s not to say that I think shoppers will find our products cheaper than anyone else. It does not escape me that Orla Kiely, Barbara Wiggins and Pantone stationery come in at a premium but you are paying for design as well as materials.

Orla Kiely A5 notebook £9.75

Barbara Wiggins notebooks £29.99

My question therefore must be – is an item really deemed ‘worth’ anything if you can’t find it on sale anywhere? Or is it just a delightful free gift….the cost of which is covered by the price of the magazine?

In my mind there’s an element of outdoorsy snobbery about certain terms. I recall once saying to my good friend Robin, probably 20 years ago now, that I liked his new anorak. He was mortified….”It’s a SKIING JACKET, and thanks!” came the response. It was all a bit akin to that fabulous Alan Partridge and Peter Kay Comic Relief sketch where someone comes over and asks who owns the brown Toyota blocking the door, to which he responds, “It’s a coffee coloured Lexus!”

I digress.

It’s all about second guessing what people look for, moreover what words they use to describe an item…and sometimes it feels like it’s anyone’s guess…you say potato….I say potahto!

In my mind the backpack was always the less technical term and more of an implication of a fashion accessory as opposed to something you would take fell walking…like these beauties…

Agatha Ruiz de la Prada Pink Spots Backpack

Kukuxumusu knitted jacquard Dragonfly Backpack - Jaione

Joshua Davies Isobars Laptop Backpack

Jordi Labanda Blue Backpack

Chupa Chups Lollypop Backpack

VW Transporter Haynes Manual Backpack

Whereas the rucksack is something I’ve regarded as far more technical, walking accessories that don’t so much come in a choice of fabric design as a full technical specification, usually denoted by litre-age, waterproofing, breathability and weight!

For years I’ve walked in Cumbria but was a very late starter so my rucksack of choice before being tutored into the more technical stuff was a Quiksilver one. It’s a surfer’s one if the truth be told but it’s really light, really hardwearing, suitably showerproof and at the time of purchase, I felt, uber stylish, in its cream and gold colourway!

These days I still carry it on shorter walks but am more inclined to use something a bit more technical on occasion, as my old bones prefer the lightweight, very waterproof and geared up for sitting correctly on your back type of accessory – so I have a very cheap Rhino 22 litre Wynnster…I am certainly no Alan Hinkes!!

The choice is vast from Berghaus, which I always think look the best being taller and slimmer, to Lowe Alpine and The North Face…and that’s just the tip of a very large ice berg.

And then we come to the haversack!

My mother has never called a rucksack a rucksack or backpack…but a haversack. So it was weird when looking into this to find that haversack certainly nowadays seems to be what I would call a courier bag, messenger bag or satchel!

I’ve never heard a single other person say the word than my mother so that alone would deter me from ever describing anything on newroomsonline as such…..but given the fact that I am plagued almost hourly by SEO cold callers who tell me we come up for zero…what do I know?