The Eurovision Song Contest – final comments

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Azerbaijan?

Seriously Azerbaijan?

Well I for one am flabbergasted. My Euro-learned friend, Lionel Bunting, came sailing with me and my husband yesterday where the journey chat up to Cumbria was all Eurovision.

While I just sat moronically saying, Yeah, but Azerbaijan, Lionel pointed out that he had loved the song from the outset, that their win is long overdue and that their entries for a few years now had merited much higher places in the scoring than what they’d actually received.

For me, we had a hilarious night. One of the guys at our soirette was heard to say when yet another immaculate, fresh faced, young announcer graced our screens with his country’s votes “Is the whole of Europe gay?”…….err well Eurovision does have a following…and you’ve really not been keeping up if you didn’t know that it’s a very pink affair!

What can I say? I didn’t think the Heath Ledger lookalikey sang entirely in tune for France.

I thought the guy in the pinstripe trousers from Hotel FM, whose Romanian entry sounded uncannily like Billy Ocean’s Love Really Hurts Without You, sounded more like it than ever on the night, and hence a rip off, albeit the catchiest rip off of the night.

Lena, while undoubtedly clinching every red blooded male’s vote on the planet, was a real disappointment for me and despite the interval act seemingly featuring 60 Lenas (not so subtle, subliminal, voting gamesmanship from the Germans!!), she still lost.

On the night my heart remained with Serbia but how fab were the Moldovan Beastie Boys? I wish they’d won, so much more entertaining than all the other acts.

Blue – well they were Blue although I do think Lee’s voice did him no favours. Sadly he sounded to me like he’d strained it. @simonwebbe1’s voice was fab, but am sure all eyes, of all persuasions were on his abs, and nobody strained to hear the quality of his singing!

I remained in love with the Serbian entry, loved the retro outfits, the wall of 60’s style graphics and her delightful voice.

Also cannot criticse for one second the divine voice of Evelina Sasenko – Lithuania’s Olivia Newton John and the annoyingly unforgettable C’est Ma Vie, suitably anthemic, just built and built in my mind throughout the night….but sadly not in with a chance.

Eric Saade’s Swedish entry “I will be popular”, with a nod to the Abba strings from Voulez Vous, was a great performance from a staggeringly attractive man….but who cares? OBVIOUSLY Europe. I did say they were an option, but an option of which I’m not proud – not my bag.

Greece’s painful rap followed by the gorgeous vocals from Loucas Yiorkas thankfully gave them no ranking worthy of note. Perrleease – What was that rap?

Oh it’s easy to judge from my ivory tower, with my desperately dated taste in music and a lifetime of British pop charts to reflect upon but I really did not see Azerbaijan and that’s my final comment….or can I just mention Jedward?

God love ’em.

I love to hate them as much as the next person but they did well. They performed with their spirit and obvious love of what they do to such  a great degree that you have to say the only thing which made me relieved that they didn’t win was knowing we’d have to bale them out even more to stage the competition next year!

From an event management perspective, the sound was the worst I’ve ever known. We watched in the cinema room of @kathwalkerart and her purist, sound obsessed hubby. Trust me if he can’t get it right then it was wrong when it was broadcast. Can I recommend they get Andy Freeman from Glasgows on the job next year – consummate professional, perfectionist and a dead cert for getting it right on the night. Seriously, whatever your gig Andrew Freeman is the best person for the job – audio visual consultant who will make your event nothing short of fantastic.

The interval act was……as I’ve mentioned earlier….a pretty poor show of bad gamesmanship. The music was fine, liked the tartan suit more than the man who loved himself too much. Their genre was so Fundacion Tony Manero that I’m inclined to think they model themselves on the FTM.

I wanted to see Kraftwerk and their slick imagery performing – see its artistic irony! At the very least a rendition of Ein Bisschen Frieden if Nicole’s not in her bathchair these days!

I thought the stage was great but used to its full potential by so few acts that I’m wont to say, why bother having the spermatic tail offshooty bit?

I thought the green room twist, however, was genius. Denmark’s lead singer mouthing none too family viewing language straight into the lens on getting their first 12 points of the night was one of those TV moments you roar laughing at – twitter went nuts. Am sure the BBC went into overdrive trying to pre-empt that happening again.

I thought the graphics wall behind the band was well used, @groovegenerator maintains that the same company who produced the Pet Shop Boys last tour wall must have done Jedward. Theirs was bang in time to the song….unlike Blue’s which went out of sync pretty early on in the song.

I loved the ticker tape at the end…..that is all.

Oh and Graham Norton – not worth the money – Harry Hill please.

So there you have it….let’s do it all again next year….hello Azerbaijan, oil state, we’re expecting HUGE things from you!

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